Life Long Tale

My mother...is...PREGNANT!!! Oh my God, she's pregnant! I cried....I cried. I cried because she has Diabetes and anything could happen to her. But I also cried because I'm happy. I'm happy because she's happy. And I did give a warning to my dad after I gave him condoms from my school.
Me: (Throwing him like, 14 condoms) If I hear one more complaint about, "Oh, I think I'm pregnant" or if you and mom argue once more because you can't keep you peter in your pants, I will hit you. And then, in like, a month afterward. This whole thing happened.
How in the world did a warning turn to an announcement of pregnancy? How?
My dad: Okay, family meeting!
Me: (In my head) Oh boy, another "time to clean up the house".
My dad: What do you guys think of another family member with-
My sister: We're having a puppy?!
My other little sister: Yay! A puppy! I want a puppy!
My brother: Shut up, Bianca! Isabell, shut up!
My dad: With two arms and two legs?
A moment of silence. First quietness in all of history...in my house.
My brother: We're having another baby?
My mom: Yes, we're having another baby.
Of course, I couldn't say anything. Nothing. Nothing came out of my mouth. I knew her risk. She knew her own risk. But she told me that she couldn't stand that fact that with her risk, she would have to abort the baby. I understood that because if I was in her shoes, I wouldn't want to be in there either. I didn't know, at the time, how to tell her of my feelings in this sudden announcement because it's true. I didn't know if I should've felt happiness or anger or sadness or even double the worry that I have for her already. I didn't know what to say. All of my siblings, including my little sister: the youngest of all, still exploring her age, she was talking with my mom about how the baby will look in my sister's eyes. But I couldn't say anything. I'm telling you, I've never been in that state of shock before. It was different. It was much different then just a normal state of shock. It was a scary shock. It was-God, there's no explanation on how it felt. Because it was a feeling that has never been felt before in my entire life.
 I've had shock when my dad left me when I was seven. But when he walked out that door, I was already like, "Ah, he's gone. Who cares?" Still I cried because he was my father. And I'm saying the word "was" because I haven't seen him in nine-almost ten years. And now that I'm fifteen and four quarters, I had a need to look for him. But I've realized, now that I'm in happiness, he's neglected me for a very VERY long time. I have a father already. And suppose that my biological will one day decide to come to my wedding because I invited him and he'll see that he won't be walking me down that aisle. It'll be my stepfather walking me down that aisle. And I think that it's hard for a girl who's lost her father, not only in death but also abandonment, that it's hard to honor someone with being a stepfather. My dad (stepfather) has been in my life for all of my nine years to be sixteen. I believe that with one man, able to talk to me without the mind games of psychology, I'm allowed to call him daddy or dad or papi or just by his name.
In conclusion, I'm very happy for my mother. And I hope that I'm old enough to be with her in the room she gives birth in because even though it was I didn't expect to hear from my mom or dad, it'll be another memory where I'll be able to raise another sibling as my own.